The second I heard that the pathology report was back and the doctor would call me shortly, my heart sank.
I don’t know why. It wasn’t like the receptionists’ voice changed in any way. She gave no indication that it was either good or bad news. In fact, she was just as cheery as she had been when I had first spoken to her. I’d asked if the results were back, she took a look and in her usual cheery manner replied ‘yes I see something is here, I’ll run it over to the doctor and get her to call you’. That was it, nothing more, nothing less, but for some reason I just wanted to cry. But I didn’t.
It can’t have been more than five minutes before the doctor called.
Unfortunately she doesn’t have as good a poker
face voice as the receptionist. I knew the second she said ‘Hi Tracey this is doctor…..’ that I wasn’t going to get the ‘everything’s fine’ speech.
I can’t remember what she said, word for word. But I remember finding her way of breaking the news a little amusing.
She was so sweet the way she broke it to me.
Something along the lines of..’ both sites we biopsied came back positive for cancer. You have ductal carcinoma in situ, which means it is confined to the ducts at the moment, its not invasive, so I don’t know why we even call it cancer….. although it is cancer.’
After a brief conversation about what will happen next, and me promising that I would call the breast surgeon immediately (which meant on Monday) I had to call hubs. I’d promised to call him at work the second I heard anything.
He didn’t take it well, he was choked up, so I bawled.