The mammogram

September 24th, mammogram day!

Now if you are a woman, you know how much we look forward to these….NOT!

Having our boobs squished pancake flat between two slabs of cold plastic is not my idea of fun! But we do what we have to do, unless we can get out of it, that is.

This was not one of the times I could ‘get out of it’. Nor did I really want to. I wanted to know what was invading my right boob, and I wanted to know NOW!


The receptionist was extremely nice and chatty, with a sense of humor.

She took my details and informed me that the results would be back with my doctor within a week, but added, should they find any abnormality, he would get the results within 48 hours and I would get a call from him.

Great, because I am not a patient person, I hate not knowing what is going on. Two days is plenty enough time to wait.

After stripping down to the waist and putting on one of those ugly pimping gowns, I took a seat in the waiting room.

Now there’s only one thing worse than the mammogram itself, the waiting room.

It has got to be the only place on earth where you get a bunch of women together and nobody speaks. I kid you not, it was silent. With the exception of the TV, which was tuned in to the Ellen Degeneres show. I’m not one for daytime TV, but I do love Ellen and found time passed pretty quick watching the show and laughing out loud at parts, much to the apparent annoyance of the other patients….what can I say, she makes me laugh!

After a while the tech popped her head round the door and called my name. It was my turn to get squished.

She asked me to put a marker over the spot where the lump was.

And… was gone! No lump, no mass, nothing! Talk about embarrassment. Here I was poking and prodding my right boob like a crazy person, I leaned this way and that, but still could not feel that HUGE mass that had been there right up to this very second.

I apologized, I felt like a total idiot.

In the end I put the marker where I though the lump had been, and the tech continued with the mammogram. She took the usual pics of the left side, then what seemed like a bazillion pics of the right.

When she finished, she showed me back to the waiting room and told me to hang tight while the radiologist took a look at the films.

She came back a little later and said they needed more pics, this time magnified views, of the left breast.

For those of you who have never had the mag views, let me tell you this. If you thought the average mammogram hurt, boy are you in for a treat with these. The picture above is exactly what I expected to look like when I left that room.

So back to the waiting room I went.

A few minutes later I was taken for an ultrasound. Then the radiologist herself came into the room and did yet another ultrasound.

Now remember at the beginning of this post the receptionist had informed me should any abnormality be seen, my PCP would call me? Well that’s not how it happened. The radiologist explained they had found a few areas of ‘suspicious abnormalities’ in my left boob and she wanted me to make an appointment to have a biopsy done, before I leave the hospital today.

As it turned out, that wasn’t possible. The mammography facilitator who sets up the biopsy appointments was only working half day and had already left. So I promised to call first thing in the morning.

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