WARNING!!!! GRAPHIC CONTENT!!!New Years Day 2014 – Post mastectomy day 1

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Warning!!!
This post contains a photograph of my chest following a bilateral mastectomy!
If this content is likely to upset or offend, please click away from this page now.

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If my journey with breast cancer was actually on a road, then today I would’ve hit the pot hole from hell.

IMG_3406

This is how they had me bandaged up following the surgery.
Not too bad!
Looking down, it was obvious the boobs were gone, but the bandages were sooooo tight, that any fat I had on my chest was squeezed out the top.
This kind of gave the illusion of cleavage.
Plus all the padding seemed to ’round’ the chest a little.
I remember thinking…well this isn’t as bad as I imagined.

I’d become (in my mind) an expert on breast reconstruction in the months leading up to surgery. There wasn’t a single photo, out there on the net, good or bad, that I hadn’t seen.
No surprises were waiting for me here.
I’d even seen a photo book of my plastic surgeon’s past work.
No horror skeletons hiding in his closet! He was a genius!
If nothing else, he made ‘great boobs’.
I wasn’t scared about the bandages coming off, I was actually excited about it.

Oh how naive I was….
Looking back now, it didn’t matter what I thought I knew, or however many photo’s I’d seen,
I was still totally unprepared for what was beneath all the padding and the bandages.
So unprepared in fact…that when they came off, I lost it! Big time!

Post op day 1

Whatever I’d expected to see under that wrapping, this was not it.
I tried to get control of my emotions, but the floodgates opened, and I bawled.
It was hideous. 😦
I never, ever, wanted hubby to see me this way. But I knew he would have to, he’d have to help me change the dressings, clean the drains etc.
Oh yeah, lets not forget the drains!
Not only do I have the disfigured demon chest from hell, I have four drains coming out of the sides.

This was the photo, the doctor took for me.
I wanted hubby to see it, and not the real thing.
I wasn’t ready for him to face that.

I didn’t know if I’d ever be ready.

The day wasn’t all doom and gloom tho.
Hubby, like always, was supportive. He reassured me that this wasn’t going to look like this forever. He’s good at the reassurance bit. I already felt better.
I love this guy 🙂

The meds I was now on also helped. After the tears I’d had over seeing my chest for the first time. I managed to calm down a lot, and was drifting in and out of sleep.
I didn’t sleep the whole time, just off and on, and mainly when the meds first kicked in.

I did manage to eat a really good breakfast of Western omelet, bacon and toast, with OJ and coffee.
A lunch of marinated chicken breast, with mashed potatoes, herbed green beans and gravy.
And I snacked in between both on chocolate cookies.
Who knew,  surgery would give me such an appetite 😉

I’d also been drinking more than my fair share of ginger ale, water and black coffee since arriving on the ward.
I was up and on my feet fast, doing laps of the surgical floor, and visiting the bathroom quite often.
(thanks to all those afore mentioned beverages)
Both surgeons were more than pleased with my progress and agreed it was fine for me to go home that afternoon.

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