So yesterday I had my appointments with both the plastic surgery and pre surgery departments, and although I knew what to expect (I’m becoming an old hand at this) I was, to some extent, nervous.
I had made my list of questions to ask the doctors
(listed mentally of course, as I never seem to write them down…pure laziness on my part)
and reeled them off, one after the other.
Got all the answers I needed, i.e.;
1, How long will I have to wear the yukky mastectomy bra? – 48 hours! Then a sports bra with side padding can be used!
2, How long before I can shower? – 48 hours!
3, How long do the lifting restrictions last? – 2 to 3 weeks!
4, How long before I can swim? (yup it’ll soon be pool season and I have my heart set on being in that pool ASAP) – 4 weeks!
and the list went on…
Now I’d never before met the Plastics PA that was doing the pre surgery assessment, and I’m sad to say, I wasn’t too keen on her.
Don’t get me wrong, she wasn’t awful or anything, she was pleasant enough, but she just wasn’t like anyone else there at the department….she was kind of abrupt and even worse, she didn’t have a sense of humor.
She was ‘to the point’ no more, no less.
And for some reason or other, she felt the need to describe, in every teeny detail, what would be happening before, during and after surgery…….and so the word cadaver came up!
That was the time where everything she said after that didn’t compute.
Seriously, it was if her mouth was moving, but no words seemed to come out.
My mind kept going over and over that word.
‘Did she just say cadaver? she did, she said cadaver! what does she mean, cadaver? she did say cadaver, right? Cadaver, cadaver, cadaver!!!’
Then everything came to a screeching halt!!!
(or at least it would’ve if I’d written the screen play)
And I’m like….
‘Whoah! Hold on a second….did you just say ‘cadaver’?”
“Did you just say the artificial skin that they grafted to my muscle came from a… cadaver? That I have a bits of a dead person inside me?”
Now talk about someone who just got caught with their hand in the cookie jar!
The look on her face was priceless when she realized I’d picked up on that word.
Although picked up on it, would be the understatement of the century…I hadn’t just picked up on it, I was fixated on it!
So FYI, if you want to know how many times a person can try and convince you that a cadaver isn’t actually a dead person?
Then you need to talk to this woman!
I kid you not, she tried very hard, and without any luck, to convince us of that one.
I was totally grossed out….to the point I thought I would actually vomit!
I mean, we’re not talking organ donor here.
They didn’t take something from someone who, although technically had suffered brain death were still, for all intents and purposes, living…..Nooooo, this is from someone who is dead!
Cold. hard. cadaver. DEAD!!!
Yup! Still haven’t got past that one! 😦
And I probably shouldn’t go over the ….’I wonder if they got it from a serial killer’ ..or the ‘OMG I’m turning into an insane person’ bit either.
(insert hubby hysterically laughing at me)
Yeah…I admit it, I’m a drama queen…I over think things.
So, after the physical examination, signing the consent form (for surgery, and possibly more bits of a cadaver…who the heck knows…..shudder!) I got to see the beloved plastic surgeon himself, and get to finalize my choice of ‘foobs’.
Which of course means I totally changed my original ‘firm decision’ made at an earlier visit, and which you can read about >> here! <<
And after an endless array of ‘maybe’s’, I’ve decided to hand over the final decision to the expertise of Dr K, and let him ‘surprise me’.
Yup! I trust him that much!
At least I won’t have to wait long to find out if I made the right decision…got the all clear, and surgery is set for tomorrow!!
On a lighter note…..I have to say, hubs has never been too enthusiastic at helping me pick out the new foobs (fake boobs). He’s been very supportive, in every way possible. But to him, outside the chest, these are just various sized squishy bags of jelly.
However, today as they were brought in, his eyes lit up!!
….hmmm….I wonder if this had anything to do with it….